Buffy the Messenger by Mirrored Illusions
Summary: In which Buffy needs to learn how to knock before entering a room, or at least use her superior hearing to check if the occupants of the room are otherwise occupied.
Categories: Ship Pairings > Ronon Dex/Other, Slash Pairings > Lorne/Other, Threesomes and Moresomes > Strictly slash Characters: Cameron Mitchell, John Sheppard, Major Lorne, Other, Ronon Dex
Genres: AU - Alternate Universe, Challenge, Established Relationship, Humour
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 3 Completed: Yes Word count: 2627 Read: 1188 Published: 09 Sep 2017 Updated: 03 Oct 2017
Story Notes:
This story was written for the 2017 August Fic-A-Day on TtH's affiliate TwistedShorts on LJ. Specifically for days 2, 4, and 15.

Chapter 1 and 3 is BtVS/SG1/SGA (Cam/Sheppard/Ronon), and chapter 2 is BtVS/Numb3rs/SGA (Colby/Lorne), with some mild Buffy/Ronon UST.

Rating: FR-13 (for non-explicit naked men).

Disclaimer: BtVS is the property of Joss, Stargate is the property of MGM, and Numb3rs belongs to someone else who isn't me.
Buffy the Messenger by Mirrored Illusions
It was shortly after 8 p.m. and Buffy figured it wasn't really too late as she had told the middleman she'd be by sometime that day, but that she might run a little late. Slaying took up much of her nights so she needed to use her days properly to get everything done. Being an adult really wasn't everything it was cracked up to be, unfortunately. She checked her watch again, 8:03 p.m.

She was just going to deliver a message and a few old, dusty books that some archeologist needed for something highly classified and very hush-hush. Out of curiosity, she'd skimmed through all three books; the first one was about some snake-demons, although the book didn't actually call them demons, who used humans as slaves and sometimes hosts thousands of years ago. The second one was a slim volume which spoke of something called an Astria Porta, or Astrid Portugal as she'd misread it in the beginning. It was a huge metal ring of some kind located in Egypt, or at least she presumed the book meant Egypt, and for some reason, the portal thingy used star signs to connect to other worlds? Dimensions? Realities? Buffy wasn't sure, but none of the human slaves who went through it ever came back.

The snake-demons, or the Goa'uld as they apparently called themselves according to the text, used the name Chappa'ai for the device. Someone, probably a novice Watcher, had scribbled the words 'Doorway To Heaven' in the margins on several pages. Someone else had struck it out and written 'Star Gate' above it. She'd briefly entertained herself with the reaction of the other Watchers when they'd discovered that two of their own had 'defiled' one of their precious books, then she continued reading. She simply assumed it was an argument over a translation of some kind and moved on.

The third book was completely incomprehensible to her, and it was bound in something that felt vaguely disgusting to touch. It had no title and no pictures to give any hints as to its contents. So much for being nosy.

Neither of the two books she could at least partially understand mentioned demons, Slayers, Watchers, or anything supernatural as far as she could tell, except for the Goa'uld creatures. Demons? Giles had cleared them for use by the military so there couldn't be anything revealing in any of them, but still. It was the *military*.

With her mind full of portals and demons who kidnapped humans by the hundreds on her mind Buffy knocked on the door in front of her and entered without waiting for acknowledgment or permission; an action which in hindsight might or might not have been such a great idea. Even if she ignored that she was raised better than that, on second thought her mother would've had some choice words to say about her behavior, but she was in a hurry.

The first thing that hit her when she entered the room was the smell of sex in the air, the second was the sight of three very naked and very satisfied men, and the third was the sound of post-orgasmic breathing quickly followed by sharp intakes of breath. Out of the three men, the blondish one was the only one who grabbed a nearby pillow to hide the 'goods' from her perusal. Pity. The man in the middle, he had unruly black hair, which had undoubtedly been made worse by his recent activities, did nothing as his goods were hidden underneath him. His slightly hairy backside was in full view though. When he saw her watching him he threw a lazy smirk her way and got more comfortable on the couch.

The third and definitely tallest of the three stretched and gave her a complete frontal view. And it was a well defined and explicit view. Mmm. Her lust bunnies definitely appreciated his generosity.

"Niiice! But not really the perspective I was expecting from military men". She held up two of the three books she'd been sent to hand over, and the blond guy actually whimpered. The hazel eyed middle man laughed, and Buffy's eyes strayed from him and over to the younger man on the far right who was still on full display. Bad Buffy! She reprimanded herself, you're on semi-official duty here and it doesn't involve ogling the officer's boyfriend. Um, boyfriends? They were definitely his lovers, whatever else they might be. She caught her eyes wandering towards the dreadlocked man again and she forced herself to focus on the blond man.

"Who are you, who sent you, and what are those books?" Apparently, Hazel-Eyes had decided to speak on Blondie's behalf since he seemed to have lost the ability to talk.

"In order of questioning," Buffy quipped, "My name is Buffy Summers. I was sent by Dr. Rupert Giles to give Colonel Mitchell these books." She waved them again for emphasis. The blond man, who she was 90% certain was the Colonel, whimpered again. "And they're about Goould and Astrid Portugal." She deliberately mispronounced both of them, just because she could.

The eyes of all three men widened comically. Buffy grinned and put the books on a nearby table.

"I hate to barge in on naked men, shock them, and then run, but I have an elsewhere to be. So, toodles!"

And before any of them had a chance to reply, she turned and quickly walked out and closed the door behind her. Once she got outside she began laughing, and as she started walking in the direction of the nearest cemetery. She didn't have a handsome man of her own so some Slayage would have to do.
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