Summary: John's life is so hard. No, really. 28 hours in the life of LTC John Sheppard, April of 2012.

Updated: 30 Apr 2007; Published: 29 Apr 2007

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Author's Chapter Notes:
Written as part of the 14 Valentines challenge on Livejournal.

April, 2012.
Set in the Memoirs Universe

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Morgan Sheppard, now close to 6 months old, wakes.

Since it's the night after a 'Monday' (there being six days in a week instead of seven, Sunday was simply dropped from conventional use. There are seven Sundays in an Atlantean solar year, which are observed as days of rest and relaxation), it's John's turn in the master bedroom (while Rodney sleeps blissfully on in the soundproofed closet/room at the other end of the quarters). Morgan stays true-to-form and it takes two hours to get her back to sleep.

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John's alarm goes off, and wakes the baby in the process. John staggers into the bathroom, having had a total of 4 hours of sleep during the night.

Following a shower, an hour of multi-tasking takes place as John dresses, entertains the baby, and debates murdering Rodney (who's still asleep in the soundproofed closet/room at the other end of their quarters).

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John leaves Morgan at the drop-in center and proceeds to the mess for breakfast. It passes without incident (unless you count the fact that they're between batches of the good coffee, and having to make due with the substitute from P71-992. The bad fake coffee (as opposed to the good fake coffee) has more caffeine, but an absolutely awful bitterness to it. John seriously contemplates going without, but he's halfway through his first cup before he's awake enough to realize it's the bad stuff, and by then it's too late).

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John stumbles (literally) upon Major Lorne, who is sleeping in the armory.

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Major Lorne proceeds to expound upon how mistreated he is by Dr. Novak, who has apparently shifted into a new stage of 'impossible to deal with while pregnant' and is now freakishly horny. Lorne's is worried about asking for a night off, because he wants to have sex when this is all over, but he's already exhausted and it's really not as much fun as it sounds like and could John please lie and say that Lorne's on night shift for the next month if Lindsey asks.

John wants to know when Lorne decided that he was the best person to talk to about sex.

John attempts to be sympathetic, or at least pay attention. He considers it an Olympic feat that he refrains from pointing out that this is not Lorne's first kid, and the guy should be used to this. However, his cover is blown when he dozes off partway through the discussion. Luckily, Lorne's trying so hard to avoid eye contact that he doesn't even notice until 0850, at which point he wakes John and leaves with a muttered excuse.

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John remembers the staff meeting that's scheduled for 0900. He sprints the entire way, and arrives at Doctor Weir's office two minutes late.

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John meets with Doctor Weir regarding proposed defenses for the mainland settlements.

There is absolutely nothing better than spending your morning talking about really big guns.

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An emergency call comes in from the marine biology labs.

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John attempts to organize the marines and subdue something the science teams have nicknamed a gremlin. The nickname comes from the creature's ability to rapidly reproduce upon introduction to water.

John's never going to be able to watch that movie again.

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Solution discovered and administered to rapidly growing 'gremlin' population.

Situation neutralized.

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John enters a supply closet to grab a spare blanket since someone (Lorne) walked off with the one he'd been stashing in his office for occasional afternoon naps. John finds Doctors Weir and Zelenka in a compromising position, and proceeds to stagger out of the room with one hand over his eyes and desperately pretending that the last five minutes of his life didn't happen.

John really wants a nap.

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John takes an early lunch break and sleeps in his office.

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John wakes up when he accidentally tips his chair over backward while shifting position.

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John gives up, and holds his scheduled 'open-office' hours, where his staff can lodge general complains. It had started in the early days after the severance, when they'd been trying to make everything work and he knew damn well some of his people knew their departments a lot better than he did (well, and Heightmeyer had thought it would be a good idea. She'd convinced Weir it was a good idea too, so John had been railroaded. Now, John continued the practice because it gave him an excuse for making Lorne do all of the day-to-day paperwork).

The complaints this afternoon are disturbingly uniform – Everyone's having problems with Teyla, whose reaction to the recently confirmed pregnancy hormones running through her system seems to be the dissolving of the filter between her brain and her mouth.

John's been taking the direct (smart) approach ever since she told him what she really thought of his hair; he avoids her like the plague.

Apparently, in the course of twenty-eight hours, Teyla had:

* Caused five servicemen to cry while supervising low-tech weapons training
* Almost negated a trade agreement with the Allurians
* And caused four more expedition members to cry as a result of general character observations

The results were uniform - two individuals requested that Teyla be reassigned to the mainland on an extended furlough; six more hinted strongly that it 'might be a good idea'.

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John clears the pre-screened (courtesy of Lorne) requisition forms, shift rotation rosters, and other miscellaneous paperwork.

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John picks up Morgan from the drop-in center. He takes her to the 'Jumper bay and sticks her in the back of a Jumper while he does basic aerial maneuvers. John's a big believer that the earlier you get a kid in the sky, the better acclimated they'll be. He has great hopes for Morgan's piloting skills (once she's walking and talking, of course).

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John receives a lecture over the headsets from Rodney on the hazards of placing a small, ATA+ child in a puddle jumper.

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John returns a now-sleeping Morgan to his quarters, where Rodney is doing paperwork of his own. John then proceeds to the gym.

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John attempts to broach the topic of damage control regarding Teyla's newfound freedom of expression with Ronon. He does this halfway through their nightly workout.

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John finally gets his breathing back under control, and decides against making the furlough recommendation again.

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John beats a strategic retreat to his quarters, having been accosted by an additional two expedition members who have complaints about Teyla. En route, he runs into Doctor Zelenka, who refuses to meet his eyes. John remembers that he should check into their supplies of high grade bleach before visiting the labs again.

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After much badgering, John allows Rodney to escape into the sound-proofed room so as to finish his paperwork in a reasonable time period without distraction.

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John kicks Rodney out of the sound-proofed room.

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John falls into bed exhausted, and thanks God that Rodney's going to have to deal with the baby tonight. He loves her dearly, but she's got the strangest sleep schedule he's ever even heard of in a five month old.

As he drifts off, John wonders if he can make some kind of bargain with Halling to arrange for a night off every few weeks. It would be nice to have sex again before he's fifty.

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~ Finis ~