Summary: Star Trek and Stargate meets Star Wars. Enough said... A collaboration: I was the expert on Stargate and Diabolical Pink Bunny did Star Trek and her husband did his part for Star Wars. Enjoy.

Categories: Crossovers > General
Characters: Elizabeth Weir, John Sheppard, Radek Zelenka, Richard Woolsey, Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex, Teyla Emmagan
Genres: Action/Adventure, Humour
Warnings: None
Chapters: 7 [Table of Contents]
Series: None

Word count: 6968; Completed: Yes
Updated: 06 Aug 2011; Published: 25 Mar 2010

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Story Notes:
this story is also posted at fanfiction under my friend Diabolcal Pink Bunnt's account

Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: Diabolical Pink Bunny (and hubby) and Meagra Solace would like to apologise in advance for the crackness and total ludicracy of this story. We got together and thought 'what if...' And can you believe it, we were sober at the time! But there was garlic snails and apple pie involved. We disturbingly present: A Tale of 3 Stars. Ta-daaa!!!!!

PS: Rodney tried to explain the math behind all of this, and he really did get it figured out. He tried to explain it to us, but after too much coffee and no pie we were no closer to understanding it. We do suffer from caffeine poisoning at the moment though....

PPS: And sorry about the spider. Family politics made us do it. Just be happy it's not another cockroach.

PPPS: Oh, yeah, we do not own any of the Stars (Gate, Trek or Wars), although Meagra Solace did try to steal Rodney for her own nefarious purposes

They. Were. Bored. After ten thousand years of having the same friend, they had finally run out of things to say to one another. And when women get bored, they have to entertain themselves somehow. And omnipotent beings can get very creative.

Athar – ascended Ancient and Q – the female Q, had been friends for many millennia. Today was their annual spa-day. Even perfect beings need a personal day. Over green tea the conversation had turned to the bipedal beings they had to baby-sit.

"I still can't believe John didn't choose to ascend and stay with me! I'm blaming Rodney." Athar delicately snorted. "And I still can't believe Teer slept with him. She should have known better! I saw him first!"

Q looked over at her friend. Athar might not be a Q, but she has achieved a plane of existence nearly as perfect as her own. Just too bad she still had this abhorrent fascination with humans.

"My dear, they are so beneath you!" she replied. She sipped her tea, about the only thing worthwhile ever produced on that inferior planet called Earth. So original.

Athar raised a perfect eyebrow. "We had a perfect sharing. He was perfect in every way." She looked away dreamily. "You wouldn't understand."

Q looked at her friend, unable to understand this human side of her. "My dear, Q and I have just shared the most unique experience in the Q continuum." She too looked away dreamily. "We procreated." Her expression hardened. "Just too bad Q first wanted to share the experience with that human female."

Athar snorted and nearly spilled her tea. "You think you have problems with Janeway? She is nothing compared to Meredith Rodney McKay! That man is a walking migraine."

"Well, at least Rodney has never insulted you like that Klingon female has insulted me." Q held out her cup and the attendant hastily refilled it. "If I had my way she would never even have been born!"

"Insulted?" Her voice climbed. "Insulted! That miserable ego-maniac not only insulted me, he ruined my date!" Then she grumbled: "And I'm not even allowed to take revenge!"

Athar looked at Q. Q looked at Athar. A fruitful silence descended and a diabolical plan was hatched. They dreamily smiled at each other – smiles just a little bit on the evil side.