Ronon paced; the tempest of emotion inside him fighting to break free. The walls of his quarters and the chance of being overheard strangling all he wanted to say.
"It was just lettin' off steam, right?" John asked, palm rubbing the back of his neck the way it always did when he was nervous. "A helping hand in the dark?"
Ronon's step faltered at the wall, unable to turn and continue for the implosion in his chest, the fist crushing his heart. Not one night past, he and John had laid amid the soft furs of Ronon's bed. Their bodies tangled, warm and sated. John's sleepy breath an intimate caress in the hollow of Ronon's throat.
What they had was more than John claimed. More than John would admit here in the glare of white overhead light, and they both knew it. Ronon should call him on it, but what would be the point? Sheppard had made up his mind. And yeah, with one blurted sentence John had become Sheppard once more. Ronon's commanding officer and irrevocably untouchable.
John yanked his gaze up from where it'd been hiding in the patterns of burnished red tiles, only to slide away before Ronon's could lock on, could see everything John had to keep hidden from now on. His confession barely loud enough to carry to Ronon across the room.
"No. But I'm..." John stuttered, suddenly aware Ronon didn't need or want the details. "I can talk to Carter about a transfer, if y' want?"
Fuck. Yeah, that hurt. So Sheppard was already that far ahead. Ronon could still see his lover in the man before him, hadn't thought beyond the empty chill his bed and his life had just become; and Jo-Sheppard was planning new team assignments.
The silence was deafening. A gulf of lost possibilities opening between them.
The doors slid open and Ronon, through the curtain of his hair, watched all hope of a new life walk away from him forever.
Summary: Written for casey28's prompt for the Never Ever Will I Meme -
"John breaks up with Ronon to be with Rodney."