Care Of by Denyce [PG-13]
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Summary: Ronon has a surprise for Lorne, John gets the delivery.

Categories: Slash Pairings > Lorne/Other
Characters: Major Lorne, Ronon Dex
Genres: Humour
Warnings: Adult themes
Chapters: 1 [Table of Contents]
Series: None

Word count: 859; Completed: Yes
Updated: 14 May 2016; Published: 14 May 2016

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Evan couldn't stop smiling; he even added an extra bounce as he moved about the kitchen putting away dishes from the dishwasher. It had been too long time since they got to hang out at home. Not only did they both have the night off, but they had the entire weekend to spend together.

Abruptly he heard the doorbell ring; Evan could hear Ronon scramble down the stairs toward the front door, calling out, "Pizza's here."

Yelling back, he said. "Money's on the side table. I got the paper plates and napkins."

Evan only heard the door open. When he came into the living room he had expected to see someone holding their pizza. Instead he saw John holding a package. Dropping the plates on the table he wandered over to find out why John was just standing there. As he made his way over he scanned the living room hoping they hadn't left anything out of the ordinary hanging around.

Although John knew he and Ronon had been living together for weeks as far as Evan knew John believed they were only roommates. Seeing that nothing was out of place, Evan ambled over, and greeted, "Hey, how you doing? Coming in? We have pizza coming if you want to join us?" as he opened the door further.

John looked away and shook his head, no then nervously shoved the box into Ronon's arms and stammered out, "This came for you... I didn't, I... I" He ducked his head and thumbed the door and hastily turned, calling out over his shoulder, "I'll just go."

"Wait, what's going on? Hey something wrong?"

John must have heard the worry in his voice and warily turned back around. Staring at his shoes, he shook his head, no before he looked up then verbally said, "No nothing, but I should get going. I just wanted to drop that by."

Evan watched as his friend eyed the package even as a flush of color crept up his neck. Before it reached his cheeks, John fled and all but ran to his car slamming the car door. Seconds later he was gone.

Shocked Evan just stood there. Shit! Something was wrong, so very wrong.

Closing the door, Evan found Ronon had set the box on the table, near the plates.

Walking over, he eyed the package. "Yours?"

Ronon shrugged, "Technically yours. I made the order and had it shipped. It was suppose to be a surprise"

"You shipped it to John's?"

"Yup! Surprise."

Stepping closer Evan noticed it was already opened. "It's opened."


"Did you just open it?"


Hearing that Evan's stomach dropped, that wasn't good. On closer inspection he spotted John's name on the label. Well that answers why John opened it. Evan ran his hand up one side of the box to one of the flaps. Whatever was going on, instinct took over as old familiar knots of dread flared to life. He was military, too many years under DADT. Inhaling he opened the flaps; Evan took out the packing and reached inside to pull out whatever Ronon had ordered.

Even wrapped in additional cellophane his hand knew what he was holding before he even pulled it out – a dildo. Evan stared at it then unmindful of the chair beside him sat down with a thud.

Abruptly Ronon broke the silence, "It's a set." Digging into the box he laid out the others on the table. Each one was larger than the last one. Excitedly he added, "I also got us: two sets of anal beads, a cock ring, lube, oil and several dvds that were on clearance."

Still in shock Evan nodded, now he understood why John had hightailed it out of there. Why he had trouble looking either of them in the face.

Numbly he repeated, "On clearance?"


"Do you get what just happened?"

"John brought over the box I had ordered."

"Yes and he saw what was inside."

Ronon shrugged. "So."

"We hadn't had that talk yet."

Ronon gave a humph, "Don't need to."

Evan snorted at Ronon's attitude. Ronon was anything but obtuse. Fact was he just didn't care what other people thought. Normally Evan didn't either, but when it came to friends he cared, respected... he should have told John the truth when they first moved in weeks ago.

Inhaling, Evan tried to think of what he was going say to John the next time he saw him. Ronon interrupted, "Here" and handed him a piece of paper.

It was in John's handwriting. We don't need to discuss this, ever! We're good! Although please explain c/o to Ronon. PS took the catalog, plan to share it with Rodney. Thanks!

Evan glanced at the note then the dildos that were laid out on the table; the corners of his mouth twitched then dropped open as he doubled over in a fit of laughter and didn't stop.

Reading the note, Ronon asked, "What's c/o?"

Evan only shook his head and laughed harder.