Summary: Sheppard is attacked by vampires and Buffy tries to not answer his questions.

Categories: Crossovers > General
Characters: John Sheppard
Genres: Action/Adventure, Challenge
Warnings: None
Chapters: 6 [Table of Contents]
Series: Queen Bee and the Officer

Word count: 6636; Completed: Yes
Updated: 01 Sep 2017; Published: 01 Sep 2017

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Author's Chapter Notes:
Written for Day 12.

Five days after getting the second biggest shock of his life, only eclipsed by the revelation that aliens are real, John Sheppard was cutting through a park on his way back to the hotel the Air Force had put him up in when they scheduled a long string of meetings for his current trip Earthside. He'd completely forgotten about the little blonde's advice to avoid dark alleyways at night, though to be fair he was in an abandoned section of a park not on a small side street.

Which was when he got his second encounter with vampires in less than a week. John mentally rolled his eyes; go figure. He had no idea the living dead were real and all of a sudden they all want to take a bite out of him? He took a quick look around for his little savior from the last time, but no joy. There were no blondes anywhere, pint-sized or otherwise. Crap. The quick survey hadn't revealed any handy escape routes either. It was a park, so there was a lot of open space with trees placed about at appropriate intervals. Unfortunately for John, he had chosen a section with an abundance of trees rather than the more open areas.

There were only two of them, but if he remembered his myths correctly then they very incredibly strong, much like both the Wraith and the Goa'uld. Since he was on Earth, where he was supposedly perfectly safe, he didn't carry a gun or any other weapon. Which was stupid of him given his recent revelation. He should've followed Ronon's example and hidden a knife or two somewhere on his body, and stake or three wouldn't have gone amiss either at this point. Next time, if he got a next time, he would make certain that anytime he visited Earth he'd carry a piece of sharpened wood and damn any questions that might arise if it was discovered. He'd rather be alive.

John mentally backtracked a little; he'd make sure there were vampire movies shown during the movie nights, both the team movie nights and the public ones. Something that explained the myth and how to properly kill them, or a close enough estimate. Both Teyla and Ronon would remember the strengths and weaknesses of the movie's adversary, and if they ever encountered the real thing they would recall the movies and react accordingly. Rodney already knew about the cliches and would no doubt complain about the choice of genre, but given how much time he had spent in the field and in life and death situations he'd summon up the pertinent information if he needed it. Afterward, he'd interrogate John about his choice of movies and what he really knew. The man was sometimes a little too suspicious for his own good, even if he was usually correct.

John's mind crashed back into the present when one of the men moved faster than his eyes were capable of following and suddenly was standing right in front of him. What followed couldn't be described as anything other than a seriously unfair fight between the Air Force officer and two of the undead. By the end of it, John was black and blue, his back hurt, and his nose was bleeding from getting up close and personal with a nearby tree.

On the upside, he had managed to accidentally impale one of the vampires on a broken off branch when he swept the man's feet out from under him. Regrettably, the move had gotten him another face full of dust and another coughing fit. It was at that time when his little savior decided to show up and save the day. Or rather, she'd shown up to save the night.

Unknown to him the second vampire had been sneaking up on him while he'd been busy trying not to swallow or inhale the remains of the first vampire. She'd been walking silently up behind both of them and staked the offending creature in the back just as John turned around, causing yet another cloud of dust and ashes to find their way into his throat and airways.

"You really need to avoid places where the bad guys hang out, you know. You could end up without your life and/or your valuables." Then she smiled brightly before lifting him up and carrying him back to the street, while he protested. Loudly.

"Be a good boy and avoid dark alleys, parks, and other places where the bad guys hang out after dark. Okay?" Without waiting for an answer she melted back into the trees and disappeared.

Holding back some creative cursing, which would've come out in multiple languages, John walked quickly back to the hotel using only the well-lit street.

One of these days, or nights, he was going to find out who that girl/woman was.