_____________
"Get it off!" McKay's voice howled over their radios.
"McKay where are you!" Sheppard responded. He and Teyla scanned the fear stained faces surrounding them. He tapped at the radio again, "Ford, where is he?"
"I'm looking, Sir."
"I'm over ...grunt...on the other side of the retaining wall...grunt... Far side of the field." a high pitched wail underscored the panic soaked words that McKay spit into the radio, "Sweet God! Get it off!"
"I've got him, Major!" Ford came over a small rise and slammed his back against the stone and mud wall. Gun at the ready he peeked over the top trying to sight McKay. Far to the left he spotted his head, just above the edge, bobbing up and down. He appeared to be doing a lopsided stomp that led him around in circles.
McKay caught sight of Ford and yelled to him, "It was tucked away in a gap between the stones. Someone must have jammed ...or it crawled..." he began to make his way towards the young lieutenant with a strange limp, "Get over here!!"
With a grunt, Ford threw his body over the wall as he hit the radio, "I've got him."
"Status?"
Ford turned away from the sight of McKay. The giggle that tickled his throat didn't seem appropriate amid all the destruction, "He's ok, Sir. We'll be with you and the survivors in just a few minutes." With that he made his way to McKay, "Doctor, just calm down. You're making it worse." Ford grabbed at his arm to stop him. McKay halted his forward momentum but continued to stomp and shake his foot.
Ford pinned the foot to the ground and leaned down to inspect McKay's hitchhiker. He parted the nest of dark hair, looking for eyes. The child refused to pull its face away from the fabric. He reached around to try and loosen the tiny hands from McKay's thigh. They were ice cold and locked. He tried to slip his hands around the heaving torso but couldn't find a gap.
"Could we speed this up?" McKay sighed.
"No we can't 'speed this up'. " Ford tilted his head to meet McKay's eyes, "This kid just survived a Wraith attack. It's terrified."
"I am fully aware of that. Get it off me."
"You're just a warm fuzzies kind of guy aren't you?"
Sheppard's voice came over their radios, "Ok guys, get yourselves back here."
"Just a second sir."
"Now, Ford"
"Yessir." Ford's gaze returned to McKay, "Let's go."
"Hello?" His fingers stabbed downward.
"You moved before. You can move now."
And so they did.
By the time they reached the perimeter of the gate they were moving at a slow crawl. Rodney was fiercely gripping his waistband, fighting the downward pull of the weight clinging to his leg. Ford jogged ahead to meet Teyla, Sheppard, and a small group of haggard individuals.
"We're heading back," Sheppard's eyes scanned the destruction that ran all the way to the horizon, "Dial it up, Lieutenant."
"Yessir"
Rodney's voice carried over the sound of the dialing sequence, "Anybody wanna claim this?"
**
After a hurried greeting in the Gate room they made their way to the infirmary with the refugees in tow. Medical personnel scurried to triage the six new arrivals. The team stood in a quiet corner by a gurney contemplating Rodney's passenger. They didn't seem to notice Weir's arrival.
She cleared her throat, "I could use an update, Major."
"Well, apparently we got there just after a Wraith attack. The six you see here were in the immediate area of the gate."
Rodney cleared his throat.
"Sorry, make that seven." A wry grin crossed Sheppard's face to quickly disappear, "I suggest we organize a general sweep of the area for survivors..."
"And parents," Rodney added.
"...and prepare ourselves for more refugees. There's nothing but ash and rubble and destruction as far as the eye can see out there. We're gonna need puddle jumpers and it's gonna take some time to do a full sweep."
"I have to say it again: We really don't have the resources to house more people." Weir countered.
"I believe that the settlement can take them." Teyla offered. "As we search for survivors, I would also suggest we look for anything that we may augment our stores with. During an attack the Wraith harvest humans and destroy structures, nothing more. There may well be enough left to assist with the sudden arrival of these people."
"Very well. Let's put things into motion." At Weir's words Major Sheppard nodded and left the room with Ford following close behind.
"Could we get back to me?" Rodney whined.
Teyla grabbed a blanket from the gurney and handed it to Rodney.
"What am I supposed to do with this?"
"You could start by wrapping it around the child," she chided. "It is obviously in shock. I will see if I can find someone at the settlement to foster it. Hopefully, we can find one of its own to take care of it." She and Weir made their exit.
Rodney leaned over, blanket in hand, and began to wrap the clinging toddler. As he touched its sides, the child's hands snapped out to grip the man's arms. It then proceeded to climb its way up his torso. It wrapped scrawny arms around his neck and strapped his chest with its legs while Rodney struggled in vain to hold the tiny body at bay. Rodney stood with arms akimbo while the child buried its face in his neck.
"A little help here?"
Beckett made his way over to Rodney and lifted the forgotten blanket from the floor to drape it over the shivering child.
"What have we here then?" He asked.
"Have you suddenly been struck blind?" Rodney sniped.
Beckett simply rolled his eyes at Rodney before he leaned in and began whispering to the shivering form. After a few moments, dark eyes peaked out from Rodney's neck to meet with the doctor's. Becket continued his soft murmuring and was rewarded with a little more dirt stained face. He ran his hands over the small form feeling for breaks, checking the pulse, gauging temperature.
"Where did you find her?"
"She was crammed between a gap in a stone wall. I didn't even realize what I was looking at until after she shot out and grabbed me."
"Someone did you a kindness, little one." Carson murmured.
Rodney's foot began to tap.
"Take a seat on the gurney, Rodney. This could take a while."
Rodney grunted as he pulled their combined weight onto the bed. Unbalanced, his passenger tightened its grip. Once again, Beckett began his soft murmuring. Slowly but surely the child loosened its hold and eventually allowed itself to be removed from Rodney. It sat next to him on the gurney, curling into his side and rubbing at its eyes.
"Well, the lass seems healthy enough. A little on the small side though. I'd guess she's about 2 and a half."
"Fine," Rodney stood and stretched. "If that's all, could I get something to eat?"
At Carson's sigh and nod he made his way out of the room. He heard the screaming before the doors had completely closed. Wiggling a finger in his ear and grumping that 'children should be seen...' he started to make his way down the hall.
He hadn't gotten more than ten feet when Beckett's head popped out of the infirmary, "Rodney, could you come back here for a tick?"
Rodney, his shoulders slumped with annoyance, made his way back into the wail filled space. The ear piercing sound stopped as soon as his feet hit the threshold.
"Alright Rodney, off with ya then. Get your dinner."
He stepped back into the hall and the doors hissed shut behind him. He could hear a high pitched keening. It seemed to make the walls vibrate.
The doors opened again and silence returned.
He turned around in time to catch Carson stepping back to shut the doors again.
Howling screams.
The doors reopened and Rodney watched Carson's body heave with a sigh that echoed in the sudden quiet.
Carson said nothing. He simply crooked a finger, calling Rodney back into the room.
****
"You could call her Mary Sue." Aiden offered.
His statement created a moment of silence. The three men stood contemplating the small girl sitting just beneath the lab counter at Rodney's feet.
"Um," John's mouth quirked, "No."
"Why not?" Aiden braced himself for another lecture on why he wasn't allowed to name things.
"I don't know..." John scratched at his head, "Something about having a Mary Sue running around here... bothers me."
"Agreed," Rodney nodded.
Aiden shrugged his shoulders, "Well, while she's with you, ya gotta call her something, Rodney."
Rodney reached into his back pocket and pulled out a wallet.
John simply stared at it, "You brought your wallet to the Pegasus galaxy?"
"Never mind that." He pulled out a condom and passed it to John, "What is this?"
"It's a condom."
Rodney threw his wallet on the table, "And why would I carry a condom?"
"Well, I don't know why you'd carry this condom. It's expired."
He snatched the square from John's fingers, "I carry a condom because I do not want to breed."
"Very sensible."
"This means that I do not want children. Get it?"
"Oh my god." gasped Aiden.
John focused on the younger man, "What?"
"Look at the driver's license picture!"
Rodney slumped onto a stool.
"You actually look good!"
John shifted around the table to get a better look. "Who'd you bribe? You don't look this good in person!"
"If you could both just focus!" Rodney's head dropped into hands.
"Look, Rodney," John reached over to pat the slumped shoulders, "it's not that big a deal."
"It's a big deal," Rodney groaned.
John continued as if Rodney hadn't spoken, "From your basic mud sucking idiot to Nobel Laureates, people have been taking care of kids."
"And screwing them up," Aiden snickered.
"Hello," Rodney waved a hand not even bothering to lift his head, "exhibit A over here!"
Frustration colored John's voice, "It's just for a couple of days until we find some family or something to take care of her!"
Rodney stood, "This is insane."
"Yup," Aiden agreed. "But the kid blows a gasket if you're not in the room."
"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." Rodney rolled his eyes at John's obvious Star Trek reference, "Or in this case, the sanity of the many outweighs the sanity of you." And he poked Rodney in the chest.
"I thought Teyla was going to find a foster?" Rodney's voice had a pleading quality to it.
"They're working on it." John reassured, "But why give the kid more trauma?"
"I am trauma!"
John held up his hand, "She stays with you until we finish looking for one of her own to take her. If we can't find someone, she goes to the settlement. She's been through enough. It'd be cruel to bounce her around any more than necessary."
Rodney stood uncharacteristically silent, rolling the condom between his fingers.
"So...what are you gonna call her?" Aiden's smile ran for cover when he caught the look in Rodney's eyes.
****
He called her Bug.
And she answered to it.
Over the next few hours people filed in and out of his lab. Many brought small gifts, things that they thought would distract, feed, or comfort the child. Most just stuck their head in the door. Rodney suspected they were checking to see if he'd killed her yet.
She sat just to the left of his legs on the floor, wrapped in blankets, munching oyster crackers, and staring at the screen of a laptop that was running a slide show of animals. She smelled of the soap they used to bathe her in the infirmary.
Rodney poked at the bits and pieces of data around him trying not to be distracted by her. It was his first time truly alone with her. The visitors had tapered off. They were either becoming involved in the rescue/cleanup efforts or the late hour had sent them to bed. He noticed that she appeared to be pretty tired too. She had an alarming tendency to slip sideways. Rodney knew he wasn't going to last much longer himself.
He put his head down on the counter and decided he could sleep like this. He'd be sore as hell in the morning, but that was better than risking another howling episode when he left to get blankets, or moved the laptop, or looked at her funny, or whatever it was that sent 2 year olds into window shattering hysterics.
From this angle, he realized, he could see her eyes. And they were slowly drooping closed. He held his breath when they popped back open. When they fell closed again he began counting off seconds. They opened again. Then they closed. He watched until he was able to count off three minutes of lids down and then carefully inched his way off the stool. He reached down and snatched the crackers from her limp hand.
He popped a fistful of the crackers in his mouth and winced as the crunch roared in his head. On tiptoe, with one eye on the child, he slowly made his way over to a bench across the room. He laid back. His legs hung over the edge. He kicked off his shoes and wriggled sock clad toes against the cold floor.
"The man said it's not that big a deal." He whispered and began to angrily crunch another fistful of crackers.
Rodney had to admit, it hadn't been bad once she stopped screaming. Someone else bathed her. Someone else clothed her. Someone else set up the laptop to entertain her. She appeared to be toilet trained so he didn't need a someone for that.
He munched some more.
A whole lot of someones had brought in a continual stream of food. He decided that was a definite plus as he threw the last few crackers into his mouth. At this rate all he had to do was make sure he didn't accidentally step on her.
"It's not such a big deal," he decided and fell asleep.
Summary: Someone, long ago, put out a request for a kidfic. I being stupid, took a stab at it. Did I mention that I'm not a squishy kind of person. What has resulted is the anti-kidfic.
Categories: General
Characters: Rodney McKay
Genres: Humour
Warnings: None
Chapters: 7 [Table of Contents]
Series: None
Word count: 18045; Completed: Yes
Characters: Rodney McKay
Genres: Humour
Warnings: None
Chapters: 7 [Table of Contents]
Series: None
Word count: 18045; Completed: Yes

